By the time you read this post, I'll be back at Barnes & Noble in Warwick, Rhode Island as an author reading to a bunch of lovable children eager for me to read my story to them. The one I wrote. Wait, what? How did I get here?
I often ask myself that question. Truth is, hard work got me here. Hard work and perseverance and I'm not done. I'm not even close to where I want to be. If there is one thing I've learned in this industry, is that your opinion is your opinion alone. Some people are going to love your story, and others will hate it. Does it make it a bad story? No.
I've spent my entire life writing. I have written for myself for the pure joy of it, to heal, to celebrate, to relax, to remember. I've written for others, for money, and just because I can. It feels go to know I can lend a hand for no other reason than I can. (Remember that)
I've mentored, I've educated and I have learned a lot along the way. Writing is a passion. It's my passion To be honest, you either have the passion to write or you don't, and that is okay. My first novel is in a spiral notebook. I wrote it when I was in middle school. I still have it. I love the story. I know it by heart. At the time I needed that story. I thought many times about transcribing it to my laptop and publishing it. Know what I decided? I can't. Partly because it still hurts too much. I wrote it for me. So, it's going to stay in a spiral notebook locked away forever, for me. And that is okay.
Everyone should have a notebook like that. A place where they can write down all their hopes, dreams and fears. My dream was to be an author. It took me a long time to figure out what my genre is. I've written YA novels, literary and contemporary. I like to say I fell into my Nicky picture book series.
We become parents for all kinds of reasons. I know only a few things about what I wanted in life. 1) was to have a family. I wanted three children. Pregnancy and I didn't really get along though. 2) I wanted to be an author 3) I wanted to get married and 4) I wanted the choice of it I was a stay-at-home mom or not. I chose to stay home with my children. It was the best decision for me and I wouldn't change it for anything. BUT....
Being a parent is trying. Nicky came to life on one of those stressful days when the kids just aren't cooperating with our own plans as parents. Just like Nicky's mom is the story, I looked at my kid's room and said, this is why I'm a parent. To celebrate the chaos, the mess, the broken toys, the scraped knees, the long hours of homework, and the tantrums. Something in me just clicked. I wanted to remember that day and embrace it. I knew these days were not going to last, and in that moment I needed them to.
That afternoon, after the room was finally clean, the toys were put away the best they could, and my boys did a quiet activity I took out my pen and paper. Yes, pen and paper, and I started to write. Only what came out wasn't a story. It was a poem. It was a poem about what transpired that day.
It felt good. It felt amazing. Was the poem any good? I don't remember, probably not, but I needed to get it right, so I worked on it day and night until I thought it was. I wanted to document my time with my kids. I wanted to remember everything. Every time my boys saw something new, the look on their faces transcended me. I felt trapped in their world, and what a wonderful place to be. To see life through the eyes of a child. To see an inchworm for the very first time, again. Can you imagine what that's like? Can you even remember? I needed to remember that, to document that. I wanted everyone to remember.
Hard work, love for my children, and a passion for writing children's literature, that's what got me here. But I'm not done. There are things I still want to do. Things I still want to experience. They say dreams don't die, they just either come true or they evolve. My dreams are the same. Have they evolved a little? Yes, I guess they have. I no longer dream of getting an agent for my books, but I do still dream of a Big 5 publisher, my books in the school system, my own business, and seeing everyone who reads my Nicky picture book series to see childhood for what it is. A blessing. To see the world through the eyes of a child, just one more time again. That is my dream, to be able to share that with you!
Until Next time- Cynthia
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